She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
