once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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