At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
