yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
