I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
