I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
ugly people sure do ruin things
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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