Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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