is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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