i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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