I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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