This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
