we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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