you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
