can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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