That's intense
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
