my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
