you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize