Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Bring me that man meat
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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