Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
