is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
