Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
