Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize