I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
