I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
only you would photoshop your dick
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
