when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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