I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
