Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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