if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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