I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
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