we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
