:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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