Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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