Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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