I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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