the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
