Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
