I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
