apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
