What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Can I color on your dick again?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
