we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
