those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
