I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
