I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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