Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
