After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
