I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
where are my eyebrows?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
