Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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