Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize