glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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