hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
