Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
