dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
