If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
