New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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