he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
